urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle ra izzle ra izzle 2008-04-27T13:54:04Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:71753 2008-04-27T13:54:04Z 2008-04-27T13:54:04Z so i'm only doing this because i've realized i have a record of exactly how i was feeling for the past two years on this exact day. so i would like to see how we compare this year.<br /><br /><br /><br />top 10 of the day in 2008:<br />1. It's sunday and i have to group project all day, what's new.<br />2. Spring fling was yesterday...amazing!...lifehouse and matt nathanson rocked my socks<br />3. I'm starting to freak out about real grown up adult life.<br />4. I love my clinicals. and my floor. and my nurses, and i cant wait to start real work with them in june.<br />5. I have been in the best moods lately...i think it's the sun<br />6. I have a sunburn<br />7. jason from lifehouse house winked at me<br />8. I'm excited for all the senior year activities that are coming up in the next few weeks. <br />9. At clinical the other day, a patient of mine who was completely sedated, sat up out of nowhere, looked me in the eye and said "do you tweeze your eyebrows...because if you didnt' they'd probably be very bushy" hahahahah<br />10. I want to dance<br /><br /><br />Here is my top 10 of today 2007:<br />1. It's Friday night and i've been in doing work all night, and i love it<br />2. Andrew Bird showed up last night and made us all go out which led to lots of flip cup and pepes and fun<br />3. spring fling tomorrow - head automatica, reel big fish, rides, food, AND FUn..woot<br />4. i love dodging carnival rides to get to class<br />5. Im starting to get everything ready from the Dominican Republic-and on top of that stressing out majorly about summer, where i'm gonna be, if i'm ever going to get a good job...<br />6. At clinical the other day I asked an old woman to draw me 2 octagons and she took the paper, traced her hand, and handed it back to me-haha im gonna miss those old people<br />7. today i think was the most productive day I've had in a long time<br />8. I feel like i almost know what i'm doing at clinicals now, im not always nervous and i can do real nursing things without messing up<br />9. I've been really stressed out lately, but surprisingly in really great moods<br />10. i want to dance <br /><br />top 10 of the day in 2006:<br />1. i wish it was summer<br />2. this has been the longest week of my life...and its only wednesday<br />3. i want amanda back, real bad<br />4. spring fling this weekend, mtvU campus invasion tour - free: motion city soundtrack, straylight run, rides, food, AND FUN..woot<br />5. i love dodging ferris wheels to get to class<br />6. my tuesday morning class was cancelled cause the building was on fire (i can only hope for the same tomorrow morning)<br />7. today i think was the best day i've had in a long time.<br />8. things are still not good on 3mx<br />9.i'm physically drained, exhausted, i dont eat anymore, and i'm frustrated and irritated ( only when i'm in my room and thinking about things)<br />10. i want to dance urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:71591 2007-07-30T05:30:58Z 2007-07-30T05:30:58Z ok i have not had trouble falling asleep ONCE this summer<br />and tonight i just cant do it<br />i know its not terribly late or anything<br />but i have been rolling around bed forever and i am still awake<br /><br />and im tired and frustrated<br />and i can think of about 120 more productive things that i could be doing now urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:71174 2007-07-10T12:41:27Z 2007-07-10T12:41:27Z i hope that god grants my body the ability to move tonight<br /><br /><br /><br />icantwaittodance. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:71101 2007-06-28T02:45:24Z 2007-06-28T02:45:24Z everybody loves raymond ok so looks like bing wont be so bad<br />you know i've only been here for a day<br /><br />but i like being alone<br />its kind of relaxing<br /><br />and not having to worry about going to bed and waking up<br />or walking around not wearing a lot of clothes (not that i do that often but its effin hot in here)<br /><br />its nice<br /><br />but for now i need need need need a job<br />and i applied for jobs in syracuse and here<br />so whatever i get first i will have to take<br /><br />but i'm kind of hoping it will be here<br />we will see urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:70886 2007-06-26T17:39:43Z 2007-06-26T17:39:43Z So I had a mini nervous breakdown last night-this morning<br /><br />and by mini i mean evan definitely thinks i'm a nutcase now<br />and i'm supposed to be in bing<br /><br />but for some reason i'm still just sitting alone in evan's room in connecticut<br />meh, i gotta get back to real life tomorrow urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:70571 2007-06-22T13:15:15Z 2007-06-22T13:15:15Z so lots of things<br /><br />i'm back from the DR<br />it was amazing, a journal entry wont do it justice so i'm not even gonna try<br /><br />i went to bing for a few days to apply for jobs<br />no one's called yet<br /><br />i'm at evans in CT now<br />its good to see him but he's very busy and has his own life here<br />and i just sit in his room for like 10 hours a day - very boring<br /><br />and i'm not looking forward to going back to bing urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:70273 2007-05-29T19:50:45Z 2007-05-29T19:50:45Z off to the dominican republic in 2 days<br /><br />see you all at the end of june! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:69975 2007-05-02T14:40:45Z 2007-05-02T14:41:55Z ok so im freaking out<br />i dont have a job for the summer...(except the gap, which doesnt even count as a job)<br /><br />I can't find ANY in syracuse, that i'll make real money at <br />and that will hire me for the big almost month and a half that i'll be home<br /><br />so i might have to stay here<br />which actually makes me want to be sick<br />there is nothing i would like to do less than stay in binghamton all by myself<br />i would probably go absolutely crazy<br /><br />i mean i know about 3 other people that will be here<br />but no one in my house..i dont know if i'm ready to live alone yet?<br /><br />so basically if anyone wants to just give me anywhere around $3,000 that would be awesome <br />thanks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:69871 2007-04-29T22:07:20Z 2007-04-29T22:07:20Z so i just need to explain my yesterday<br />because it was probably the most random day of my life<br /><br />we spring flinged in the rain<br />had a huge family dinner<br />then went to the reel big fish and sugarcult show (head automatica cancelled on us)<br /><br />after we went downtown to mad moose<br />a decent number of people there but not a ton...<br /><br />so we look over, and sugarcult's at the bar<br />now god knows i only know like 2 of their songs, and i'm not going to even pretend i really like their band<br />buuuutttt, needless to say they're famous<br />and i've never met anyone famous...<br /><br />so we talked to them for awhile which was amusing, evan was drooling over them like a teenage girl and suzie was just amusing them - all in all a good time<br /><br />THEN - on the walk home from downtown we stop because a cop hit 2 men on a bike. the men werent hurt, but the bike was smashed...and do you know what the cop did...the cop wrote the man 3 tickets..this man barely spoke english and didnt even understand what was going on...needless to say we tried to explain to him that he just got fucked over but i dont think he got it<br /><br />anyways we didnt end up getting home till about 4, which means im exhuasted so i cant write anymore hahha urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:69498 2007-04-28T02:51:47Z 2007-04-28T02:51:47Z so this was my post on exactly this day last year-lets compare<br /><br /><i>top 10 of the day:<br />1. i wish it was summer<br />2. this has been the longest week of my life...and its only wednesday<br />3. i want amanda back, real bad<br />4. spring fling this weekend, mtvU campus invasion tour - free: motion city soundtrack, straylight run, rides, food, AND FUN..woot<br />5. i love dodging ferris wheels to get to class<br />6. my tuesday morning class was cancelled cause the building was on fire (i can only hope for the same tomorrow morning)<br />7. today i think was the best day i've had in a long time.<br />8. things are still not good on 3mx<br />9.i'm physically drained, exhausted, i dont eat anymore, and i'm frustrated and irritated ( only when i'm in my room and thinking about things)<br />10. i want to dance</i><br /><br /><b>Here is my top 10 of today 2007:<br />1. It's Friday night and i've been in doing work all night, and i love it<br />2. Andrew Bird showed up last night and made us all go out which led to lots of flip cup and pepes and fun<br />3. spring fling tomorrow - head automatica, reel big fish, rides, food, AND FUn..woot<br />4. i love dodging carnival rides to get to class<br />5. Im starting to get everything ready from the Dominican Republic-and on top of that stressing out majorly about summer, where i'm gonna be, if i'm ever going to get a good job...<br />6. At clinical the other day I asked an old woman to draw me 2 octagons and she took the paper, traced her hand, and handed it back to me-haha im gonna miss those old people<br />7. today i think was the most productive day I've had in a long time<br />8. I feel like i almost know what i'm doing at clinicals now, im not always nervous and i can do real nursing things without messing up<br />9. I've been really stressed out lately, but surprisingly in really great moods<br />10. i want to dance</b> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:69163 2007-04-06T02:13:26Z 2007-04-06T02:13:26Z spring break has been a waste!<br />ive been sick ALL week<br />horrible.<br /><br />evan comes back tomorrow which should be cool<br />i'm excited for him to spend easter here<br /><br /><br />I got my passport today<br />im officially off to the dominican republic in june!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:69053 2007-03-27T02:35:04Z 2007-03-27T02:35:04Z i've never been so stressed in my entire life<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and oddly enough i'm in a completely beautiful mood = ) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:68784 2007-03-12T00:09:56Z 2007-03-12T00:09:56Z So this has probably been one of the best 4 day breaks i've had in awhile<br /><br />thursday we went to vermont to go skiing<br />the weather was PERFECT<br />the skiing was great<br />everything was wonderful<br /><br />last night evan's friends from home came up<br />we went dt and danced our little hearts out<br />all night long<br />it was a lot of fun<br /><br />now tomorrow back to the real world.<br /><br />but i get the nettles this weekend!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:68523 2007-02-28T18:20:34Z 2007-02-28T18:20:34Z I love Delilah I decided<br />everyone knows delilah..on the radio<br /><br />Tuesday and thursday nights on my way home from class at 8 I always drive really slow<br />like slower than anyone should drive<br />and i listen to delilah<br />and drive slow<br /><br />probably because i'm absolutely wiped cause i've been going since 5am..<br /><br />and i just want to go home<br />watch american idol with evan<br />and pass out<br /><br />..and that's what i get to do<br /><br /><br />haha im glad i got to share my tuesday nights with everyone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:68343 2007-02-19T17:45:52Z 2007-02-19T17:45:52Z ok <br />here's the problem<br />after seeing that baby being born the image is HAUNTING me<br />like it sounds funny...but in fact not funny at all<br /><br />i had a dream last night that i was pregnant and it was AWFUL<br />everytime evan comes near me i want to wrap my body in plastic wrap<br />honestly<br />its getting in the way of things<br />ahhhh urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:68076 2007-02-14T01:37:55Z 2007-02-14T01:37:55Z today a saw an 8lb human squeezed out of a vagina<br />...yes i saw my first baby being born<br /><br />and it was amazing<br />and i will never have a child.<br /><br />happy valentines day tomorrow! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:67775 2007-02-12T20:23:56Z 2007-02-12T20:23:56Z Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae last night we had a grammys party!!<br />wooooo<br />we all dressed up like nominees...i was shakira..amanda was christina, suzie was luda, evan was justin timberlake, alex was john mayer, and adam was timberland hehe<br />it was a lot of fun..we love looking for excuses to dress up stupidly<br /><br />This week i got 0 hours at work AGAIN for the second week in row<br />totally pissing me off cause im completely poor<br />so basically i just have to hope people cant work and call me to do it<br />which so far is working out ok except for tonight im skipping class to go to work because that's how poor i am<br />after i get gas to drive to both my clinicals this week (elmira and PA)..i will be out of money completely<br /><br />Wednesday is valentines day and for the first time ever im not dreading it<br />me and evan have had some rough patches lately but things are getting better, we've done A LOT of talking and i think things are actually better than they were before , finally i feel like we're completely open with each other <br />its a relief.<br /><br />now i have to get everything i have to do tonight done before work<br />cause when i get home i have to go straight to bed...i have to get up at 4:45 am tomorrow..disgusting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:67404 2007-02-01T00:10:36Z 2007-02-01T00:10:36Z ok it's been a little bit<br />im back at school<br />things are crazy<br />so much work already<br />and tests<br />and clinicals are starting which are scary<br /><br />on tuesdays im on the maternity floor of arnot hospital which is cool(other than it's an hour away and i have to be there at 7am), except im gonna be pretty embarrassed when i see a baby being delivered and i pass out<br />im very very scared and excited at the same time<br />thursdays im at the psych ward in Sayre, PA(yup like 40 minutes away and i still have to be there at 7am)<br />that should be interesting too<br /><br />basically school is the only thing i'm focusing on now<br />although everything else is good<br />im glad to be back here in my own house with all my friends<br /><br />fun 'cuse things to come in the future....but for now lets just say its still under construction : ) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:67305 2007-01-17T16:32:58Z 2007-01-17T16:32:58Z im in a better mood now haha<br />i've actually been seeing people which is good<br />it's sunny today which is also wonnnnderful<br /><br />im about to go to panera with leah <br />and evan's coming later<br />so woo!<br />good moods all around... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:66831 2007-01-14T05:12:39Z 2007-01-14T05:12:39Z sometimes i get in these awful moods that i just cant get out of<br />no matter how hard i try<br />and i just want to sit in a corner and cry<br /><br />and sometimes i cant let things in the past go<br />and i hate it, and i dont know why it is but i cant do it<br />and its just making everything 100 times worse<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i want to leave. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:66579 2007-01-11T04:53:55Z 2007-01-11T04:53:55Z so i just got back from evans today<br />the whole vacation was just wonderful<br />and skiing in vermont was also perfect even if it rained a lot<br /><br />it was a long run being with evan every minute of every day for like 2 weeks straight<br />but we did it, and we didnt kill each other<br />i feel like we both get to the point where like i want him to trip in front of a large crowd and get laughed at and he wants to push me in front of a moving bus<br />but then one of us will say something cute and everything will be better<br />and i like that. that we dont have long standing fights and we both realize that sometimes we can get on each other's nerves and we're not perfect at all and its ok<br /><br /><br />annnyways, hopefully i will get to see aarthi this weeked!!<br />and one more week then back to bing...woooo urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:66426 2007-01-02T18:46:09Z 2007-01-02T18:46:09Z honey and the moon - joseph arthur so i'm at evans<br />and so far everything has been absolutely perfect.<br />the best vacation i've ever had by far : )<br /><br /><br />haha i know that's not much of an update, but that's all i have to say<br />and that i miss all of you soooo much urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:66126 2006-12-28T04:52:17Z 2006-12-28T04:52:17Z well...<br />a 3 day trip to evan's house just turned into a 1 and a half week trip.<br />mom was freaking out about me driving my car there twice in one week...once for new years and once for vermont. plus she didnt want me taking 1000 days off of work<br />when evan suggested staying the whole time i thought the whole thing was ridiculous<br /><br />i suggested it to mom and she said "you have to work"...which slowly turned into "will they give you a lot of hours the 3 days that you're home"<br />THEN evan called, and asked to talk to my mom..WEIRD. but anyways i put her on and i just hear her laugh and say "you are not pretty pleasing me are you?" So apparently evan downright begged my mom to let me stay the whole time, and he told her "im a mess without tara" (which i dont believe is entirely true...but sweet none the less)..my mom got off the phone and said "is he sober?"<br /><br />so obviously i already ruined the end of the story and you all know what happened....and im superrrrr excited! i just hope my job doesnt like fire me or anything. and i am sad to be away from my family and friends here for so long seeing that i dont see them all too often, so that kinda sucks. but all in all i think if i told her now that i was coming home and going back she wouldnt let me, cause she thinks im a horrible driver and gets really nervous when i drive.<br /><br />anyways im super excited to go and see him, but sad to be going too...oh the irony <br /><br />in other news, me and gretch had a super mall adventure today, that ended in target<br />and although kinda frustrating and very long it was still super fun and i want to do it again tomorrow<br />when i go to the discovery store and buy a blanket with my face on it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:65880 2006-12-25T06:08:36Z 2006-12-25T06:08:36Z merrrrry christmas!!<br /><br />ok so i am very tired and need to go to sleep<br />i have been working hardcore at penneys for the past week and the day after christmas i start back up at 5:45 in the am....yes that's 15 minutes before 6am..EWWW<br /><br />but my saving grace is that i will get to evan this weekend! woooo...only for like a day though...which sucks, but i cant do much about it..at least i get to see him.<br />and my only problem is i need to get him a present. and not just any present..the BEST present. i got him something that i am pretty sure i will return, just to get something better. but i want it to be perfect and i have no idea what is perfect...but i hope i find it in the next 4 days..pft<br />if any one has any ideas LET ME KNOW urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ra_izzle:65617 2006-12-19T04:07:30Z 2006-12-19T04:07:30Z somewhere only we know - Lifehouse(keane cover) if you dont want to hear bitching then stop reading now<br /><br />im serious<br /><br />break has been AWFUL<br />all 4 days of it<br />i hate jcpenneys<br />i work 9 hours everyday<br />and not normal hours that let me coordinate a life around<br />stupid ones like 1-10, or 3-12 COME ON<br />and not just like 2 days EVERYDAY<br /><br />came back and visited my baby sarah who is amazing and was probably<br />the only good part of the break so far<br />except that i was watching her so aunt linda could wrap her presents<br />and seeing her so sick from the chemo is killing me<br />like 3 weeks ago she looked and acted completely normal<br />and now she's so sick...and she has no hair<br />and its just horrible...dalsfkjsalfkd<br /><br />mom got into a car accident<br />and not like a little bump<br />like an airbag, car smoke, car wrecking accident with bruises and things<br />so that was scary, very scary<br /><br />so basically i want to crawl into a hole and just stay there<br />for a long time<br />maybe like 5 weeks time<br />and just cry.